I feel it . I dont know it . How is that possible? I am not saying the negative doesnt cross my mind or crossly glare at me , into my morals. I stand strong but out of what convictions exactly, I dont dare to examine . I dont want to trip."not fair " comes to mind a lot but it has no baring here. Only proves none of this makes any sense . The world is cruel and disconnected . I am here you are there. All actions must come from some greed , lust . I can not actively remove myself . I bask in my behavior . I indulge in its primal urges. Until the waves bog me down . Until i question it all again.